As of October 1, 2023, my weekly articles will be posted only on Substack. I have been playing around with Substack, cross-posting articles there and here on my website for the past couple of months. I’ve found that I really like it over at Substack because 1) it is even more flexible and user-friendly than Squarespace and 2) there’s a greater potential to build community. Here’s what you need to know:

• I will still update the rest of laurastephensreed.com regularly.

• Entries on my laurastephensreed.com blog will remain here. I will not migrate or delete them.

• If you are a subscriber to my laurastephensreed.com blog, I have switched your subscription to Substack for you.

• If you are a subscriber to my monthly Mailchimp newsletter, I will not automatically add you to my Substack. (You are certainly invited to join me over there, though!) I will continue to send out a monthly newsletter, because I think that’s a better place for announcements than Substack is.

• There will be free and paid subscription options on Substack. With your free subscription you’ll get new content every Tuesday like I’ve offered here. With a paid subscription you’ll get an additional article, resource, or giveaway once a month that is exclusive to those who opt for a monthly ($7) or annual ($60) plan.

Questions? You’re always welcome to contact me!

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash.

I have been playing around with Substack, cross-posting articles there and here on my website for the past month. I’ve found that I really like it over at Substack because 1) it is even more flexible and user-friendly than Squarespace and 2) there’s a greater potential to build community. Over the course of September, then, I will begin migrating my current writing to Substack. Here’s what you need to know:

• I will continue cross-posting articles for September. Starting in October I will post new writing only on Substack. (I will still update the rest of laurastephensreed.com regularly.)

• Entries on my laurastephensreed.com blog will remain here. I will not migrate or delete them.

• If you are a subscriber to my laurastephensreed.com blog, I will switch your subscription to Substack for you.

• If you are a subscriber to my monthly Mailchimp newsletter, I will not automatically add you to my Substack. (You are certainly invited to join me over there, though!) I will continue to send out a monthly newsletter, because I think that’s a better place for announcements than Substack is.

• There will be free and paid subscription options on Substack. With your free subscription you’ll get new content every Tuesday like I’ve offered here. With a paid subscription you’ll get an additional article, resource, or giveaway once a month that is exclusive to those who opt for a monthly ($7) or annual ($60) plan.

Questions? You’re always welcome to contact me!

Photo by Erda Estremera on Unsplash.

One of the most helpful classes I took early in my coach training was about change, transition, and transformation. (The class content built on the work of William Bridges, who was an expert in these areas.) Often we lump the three terms together, but they are actually quite different:

• Change is a shift in our circumstances. It is external. We can choose it, or it can be forced upon us.

• Transition is a response to change. It is learning to see things differently as a result of our shift in circumstances. Our insides work to catch up to what is going on outside of us.

• Transformation is a wholly new way of not just seeing things differently but being in the world differently. We are fundamentally altered because we have so fully embraced change.

We do not go directly from change to transformation. There is that transition time in the middle in which what was is now in the rearview, but what is yet to come and whom we are yet to be are still in the future. Think of this neutral zone as a bridge between two realities. One of the functions of bridges is to carry us over water or roads. Not having solid ground underneath feels very precarious for a lot of people, including me. Yet there we are, left having to move forward, not just stay parked in the middle of that bridge - even if we can’t fully see what’s on the other side.

In our lives we have all found ourselves on the bridge at one time or another, prompted by a move, a job change, a birth or death close to us, or an injury that has altered how we move about the world. In 2020 people all across Earth found ourselves in a neutral zone. There was a sudden call to go from all that was familiar into lockdown. If we got out of our house, we needed to mask and physically distance. If we brought anything from the outside into our home, we were told, at least at first, to wipe it down for pathogens. Schools ended the year abruptly. Churches moved community online. Nothing felt familiar anymore. We couldn’t hug our people. We couldn’t go to the places we wanted. We couldn’t observe milestones in the ways we were used to. And how long would we be in this profound disorientation? The epidemiologists were saying from the start of Covid’s spread that – optimistically – we were in a 2-3 year event, though many of us, including me, could not hear that for a long time. We just reacted to a drastic shift in circumstances. But when weeks turned into months, we adjusted our way of thinking: ok, we are now in a global pandemic. There is no quick fix. We will do what we must in order to get through this, one day at a time. Our seeing realigned with our doing. To some extent we are still in the latter part of the Covid neutral zone. The virus is very much still with us, and we don’t yet know what a world where we are fundamentally changed by our pandemic experience will look like. Thankfully, we have a lot more knowledge and tools now to blunt its effects.

As a result of Covid and so many other changes in the world, many of us individually and collectively are in our own neutral zones. Maybe we’re doing things differently because we have to. Maybe we’re even seeing things in new ways because of our shifted circumstances. We’re still on that bridge, though. So what do we need to get to the other side?

• Celebrate what was without getting stuck in it. What is the legacy that you are taking with you into the neutral zone that can help you navigate it well? What are the values to which you will stay true, no matter what the future looks like?

• Cultivate your noticing that that God is working in, among, and through you. Sometimes it’s hard to see, but we never leave­ God’s compassionate presence and the hope of communal salvation that Jesus offers.

• Assess the tools at hand. Every person, every group, every congregation has a wealth of gifts that put you in position to cross the bridge. Maybe they need to be redistributed, but you have – and are – enough.

• Ask lots of questions. ­­What if…? I wonder what…? When we stay in that stance of thoughtful and playful curiosity, or even faithful doubt, creativity and possibility are available to us.

• Trust in and mutually support one another. The neutral zone is not the place to get stranded or to strand others. This is a bridge best navigated together.

The good news is that we don’t have to transform ourselves. We just have to open our hearts and our minds to God’s invitations, being confident that when we do, God will work in us in ways that don’t just fundamentally alter us but also the world around us.

 Photo by Modestas Urbonas on Unsplash.

I am hearing - across denominations, locations, and church sizes - that it is increasingly hard to find an interim pastor to lead congregations in between settled ministers. So what is a church to do? Click here to read my suggestions on the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship blog.

Photo by Suad Kamardeen on Unsplash.

When I entered seminary in the fall of 1999, I was there to train for ministry. I was not on the lookout for a spouse. And yet, in my final year, I found myself falling in love with a United Methodist pastor from Alabama. When Matt was commissioned for service in his conference, we were not yet engaged. Three years later, though, we were newlyweds when Matt underwent his interviews for ordination.

I attended the interview retreat as moral support. I was shocked to be called into Matt’s actual interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry. The Board asked us what we would do about baptism when we had children, since I was ordained to ministry in a believer’s baptism tradition and the United Methodists practice infant baptism. “Well, if we have children [red flag #1 for the Board], we’ll have that conversation then [red flag #2].” Luckily, in spite of my obstinance/honesty, Matt was approved for ordination. But the summons to his interview, much less the question posed to me, was an early signal to me that life as a clergy spouse came with some land mines.

A few months ago Matt stepped away from pastoring a congregation, at least for a season. As we planned for a year and a half for his leave, which was prompted by the challenges of Covid, 20 years of ministry without a break of more than a week at a time, and other factors, I could not wait to throw off the weight of all the projections that come with being the minister’s wife. Some people relish the role of being married to a pastor. I do not, though I delight both in being clergy myself and being a spouse to Matt.

Since I now feel like I have space to talk more freely, I thought I’d share a bit about my experience. I don’t speak for all clergy spouses, though I expect many could relate with the struggles of being:

Silenced. Ministry is one of the few jobs in which the pastors might (though this should never be assumed) bring their families to work. That makes the stakes higher for everyone in the pastor’s family. If the pastor runs afoul of the congregation, the pastor’s family loses a faith community. If the pastor’s spouse and/or kids “act out,” that causes trouble for the pastor. For me this has resulted in the need (felt, if not actual) to keep my cards close to the vest.

Hurt. People sometimes feel like the pastor and family are fair game for any kind of criticism. I’m not talking about the constructive kind, which is good and necessary for a minister to grow. And it is a special kind of pain to watch an embattled pastor navigate conflict, knowing that you as the spouse can’t do anything to make things better.

Weighed down with expectations. I don’t think many churches (that Matt would serve, anyway) still hand the curriculum for the children’s Sunday School class over to the pastor’s wife on the first day. Other stated and unstated suppositions still lurk, though. Some are benign, like that I would bring a dish to a church potluck. (I am not the cook in our family, and no one needs to take a chance eating what I would make.) Some are more insidious, such as that my work should always be eclipsed by Matt’s.

Vocationally hemmed-in. Being married to an itinerant minister who serves at the pleasure of the bishop has meant we’ve gone where Matt is appointed, and then I adjust vocationally. (Other clergy families, even United Methodist ones, navigate this differently, and I celebrate that!) This has resulted in two narratives that are both true: 1) that Matt’s job security has given me the freedom to develop my ecumenical interim work and coaching practice (which is the story I lean into on my better days) and 2) that I have had to create a portable ministry so that I don’t have to struggle afresh to find my vocational footing every 3-4 years.

Lonely. Pastors have to set boundaries with parishioners for their own ethical integrity. Clergy spouses often end up doing the same to protect their clergy spouses and/or themselves for reasons related to many of the challenges named above.

I give this window into clergy spouse-dom because it doesn’t have to be so hard. Churches can support pastors and their families, and when this happens, everyone wins. Pastor, spouse (and kids, if applicable), and congregation are all energized by love and trust, and a longer and more fruitful mutual ministry together becomes possible. Specifically, here is what churches can do:

Treat your pastors fairly. This is basic stuff that goes for all pastors, whether or not they are partnered or have kids. Respect their time, come alongside them, pay them a just wage, tell them you appreciate them every once in a while, bless their need for breaks, and give them useful feedback. This allows these pastors to be fully human and more present to their loved ones.

Remember that spouses are our own people. When we speak, we speak for ourselves. Clergy shouldn’t have to deal with blowback because church members are clutching their pearls at something the spouse said or did.

Respect the clergy spouse’s needs. Our lives do not have to revolve around a congregation we do not lead. We want to work. We want to have friends who don’t know us as Pastor’s Spouse. We want to feel free to go to church somewhere else sometimes or always. We might even want to sleep in on the occasional Sunday morning.

Don’t expect more of clergy spouses than you would of anyone else. If you think spouses should do more, there should be a formal position with pay involved. If you think spouses should be better, remember that we are human.

See and value clergy spouses. We have our own gifts and callings that we want to exercise to their fullest.

Support and encourage our desire to expand our connections. Our desire to make friends outside the church is not a criticism or rejection of those in the church. We just need to jump out of the fishbowl sometimes.

Offer help with clergy kids, without judgment. Whatever you think about the pastor or spouse, please love our children, even and especially when they are acting out. (It is stressful to bring your child to your own or your spouse’s workplace!) Show interest in them. Engage them in conversation. Invite them to sit with you. Support the need for their care during meetings and classes.

Someone who is currently a clergy spouse can’t say all these things I’ve shared with you. It’s too touchy. But since I now can, I hope my experience sheds some light on what it’s like to be a clergy spouse and how your church can more fully support clergy families.

Photo by Janno Reyes on Unsplash.

I recently wrote that I think the traditional committee structure is on its way out. If your leadership infrastructure isn’t working for your congregation, it is essential that the meetings you do have are meaningful spiritually as well as practically. Over on the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship blog, I have a piece up about how to make your meetings worshipful work. Click here to read the post.

Photo by PJ Gal-Szabo on Unsplash.

Yes, your church will want to speed up the search process to put an end to the discomfort and uncertainty of not having a settled pastor. Over at the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship blog, though, I share what gifts of a search your congregation will miss if you hit the fast forward button. Click here to read the article.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash.

Many pastor search processes gear up or reconvene after Christmas. If your pastor search team doesn’t know where to start, has hit a snag, or has a Big Question it’s not sure how to answer, good news! Practical Resources for Churches is hosting (and I am leading) a free webinar on best practices for pastor search teams on Thursday, January 20, from 7:00-8:00 pm eastern.

In this webinar your pastor search team will learn best practices for conducting a search that not only results in calling a great-fit pastor but that also promotes spiritual transformation for those involved and blesses the candidates that come into contact with your process. I’ll give a brief overview of all the opportunities baked into a pastor search and the head/heart orientation that will allow your search team to make the most of them. I’ll provide an introduction to the five main stages of a pastor search, explaining how their completion contributes to a successful search process and a great foundation for mutual ministry with your new pastor, along with best practices for each stage. I’ll take a deeper dive on some questions that are common to many search teams, such as where to search, how to review materials, what questions to ask of yourselves and the candidates, and how to communicate with candidates. There will be particular tips for small churches and part-time calls. Ample time will be reserved for questions specific to your situation.

Even if you aren’t able to attend the webinar live, you can register and receive the webinar recording afterward. I encourage you then to register and to share the webinar information with others who might be interested. If your search team needs more guidance after the webinar, I offer affordable, remote coaching and training options.

I look forward to my first opportunity to work with Practical Resources for Churches, a nonprofit ecumenical resource center for churches. It presents over 60 webinars each year, many featuring nationally recognized presenters and authors, in the areas of faith formation; children's, youth, adult, and intergenerational ministry; church management; stewardship and finance; technology; worship; caring ministry; and more. Each year thousands of people from around the country and the world watch or register for these webinars. All of PRC’s webinars are free.

In one sense, not much changed when 2021 rolled over into 2022 a few days ago. Many of the same challenges and opportunities are in front of us. There is not anything magical about the ball dropping in Times Square or switching from one planner to another.

Still, there is something about turning the page that feels different. Perhaps it’s the Anne of Green Gables sentiment that "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it," and a new year offers us 365 fresh tomorrows. In church life there’s a bit of time to catch our breath after Advent and Christmas and before Lent. The fiscal year might have rebooted. New leaders may be bringing renewed energy to meetings. Many church members are coming off time with family or time away from work. All of this contributes to a vibe of possibility, making this a prime season for doing some intentional reflection and planning to set your church up well for the coming year(s). Here are some of the areas in which congregational coaching can help, along with key questions coaching can give you the structure to explore:

Leader retreat. Whether your lay leaders have just turned over or have had a few months to gel and find their footing, they could use additional support. What exactly do their roles in your church entail? What equipping do they need to partner well with staff for the good of the congregation? How might they both broaden their imaginations about what is possible and ground their work spiritually?

Pandemic-prompted conundrums. Unfortunately, Covid is still very much with us, and we can no longer afford to wait until it is “over” to mull key questions. What might a more dispersed or hybrid model of church look like in your context? What does membership look like in these changing times? What engagement is needed to nurture the discipleship of constituents and provide them with community?

Visioning. In lieu of a strategic plan, a business model that never really worked well for the church (and really doesn’t in these uncertain times), how might your congregation name its lived and aspirational values and identity as the basis for holy experiments? What evaluation and celebration might you build into your efforts in order to look for the surprising ways that God is showing up?

Reflections on staffing models and pastor searches. Given the changing shape of the Church and your local church, what kind of pastoral leadership do you need? How and where might you find these kinds of leaders and then support their ministries?

In the past year my congregational coaching work has included:

• Training a pastor search team, with the end result of thoughtfully calling a pastor who is a “first”

• Creating spaces for lament and discernment so that church leadership could answer, “Where do we go from here?”

• Guiding a congregation through identity work so that it could make big decisions about its property out of its values and purpose

• Helping a congregation think through a staff re-structure that honors the gifts of current staff and seeks skills needed for new possibilities and challenges

• Facilitating conversation between a new pastor and church leadership to develop understanding, mutual trust, and excitement for ministry together

Congregational coaching can be done via Zoom, making the schedule more flexible, meetings more accessible and less affected by potential Covid spikes, and the cost more affordable. If you’d like to talk about your church’s needs and ways that congregational coaching can help you start 2022 with momentum, contact me or visit my calendar to set up a time to talk.

Photo by Isabela Kronemberger on Unsplash.

Several years ago many of my pastor peers started going back to graduate school, some in ministry-related fields and others in programs outside the purview of seminaries. I cheered them on, and I knew that at that time, a focus on academics was not for me. I might someday pursue a Doctor of Ministry degree, I thought, but not unless I had a particular issue that I wanted to address through studies and a capstone project.

And then, pandemic. The changes that were in (very) slow progress in the Church were propelled forward. That push was - and is - painful for both ministers and their ministry settings. There is no going back, but we all remain uncertain what moving forward faithfully might look like. I think pastors are already tapping into possibilities, but how to make those innovations sustainable in the midst of grief and polarization and outsized expectations and downsized denominations is an open question.

I want to equip and encourage clergy and congregations in this challenging work of discernment. I can think of no subject that I have more passion for than supporting pastors in their essential functions and creative approaches and churches in their efforts to live out even more fully the love of Christ in a chaotic time. While I have been doing this work for several years now, it is time for me to reach for more than a book or a conference (excellent analog tools!) to enhance my understanding. I need a power tool to hook into my belt. And so, this week I started the Doctor of Ministry program at Lexington Theological Seminary to study the changing church in a changing world. As the LTS website states, “Lexington Theological Seminary’s Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) program, Building Capacity for Transformational Ministries, a graduate professional degree, is designed to enhance pastors’ capacity to critically interpret and engage contemporary cultures as a means to give fresh expression to the gospel and to transform congregations for effective ministry in the twenty-first century.” That is just about a perfect product description for the power tool I’m looking to acquire.

I will maintain a full coaching schedule, though other pieces such as weekly blog writing and the development of new resources might become more infrequent when I am in classes. I am excited about diving into school once again, and I invite the company of your prayers on this new journey.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash.

“The pastor search team will meet this Thursday…”

Normally I have a pretty good poker face. In this case, though, I nearly wrenched my neck swiveling it so fast from my notes on the pulpit toward the layperson making this announcement from the choir loft. The congregation’s previous minister had exited a mere five days prior, and a search team for his settled replacement was already up and running. (I won’t leave you in suspense about how this story ends. The church called a pastor who was almost the polar opposite of his embattled predecessor. He served for 3.5 years, then was asked to leave. This sequence of events fit neatly into a long-running, unexamined pattern in the congregation.)

When a pastor departs, a church’s inclination is to ask how quickly they can locate a replacement. That is totally understandable. When we experience change - whether positive or negative - there is discomfort. We want to return to equilibrium as quickly as possible. But the time between pastors is bursting with opportunities that are largely unavailable during more settled periods. Here are a few:

• Healing from conflict or grief associated with the previous pastor (or pastors, if there are still open wounds from situations with the most recent pastor’s predecessors)

• Remembering or discovering anew who the church is apart from the personality of a charismatic or long-tenured pastor

• Assessing the congregation’s purpose, gifts, and needs in a new season of ministry and a world changed by Covid

• Right-sizing or reconfiguring staff to meet those needs

• Inviting other staff or lay leaders to exercise or develop talents they haven’t previously

• Leaning more intentionally into potentially transformational practices as part of the pastor search

• Connecting or reconnecting with partners or resources that could inform the pastor search, and more broadly, the church’s ministry

• Receiving and mulling pastoral candidates’ thoughtful questions about the church’s nature and hopes

• Creating or shoring up procedures that improve communication and strengthen trust

• Considering how to welcome the new pastor in ways that develop mutual care quickly

All of this is the holy work of the transition time. It sets up not just your new pastor but your church as a whole to live even more faithfully into God’s invitations. And your congregation doesn’t need to fear taking the time needed to harness all these opportunities, because while you might want an interim pastor to keep things moving and to help you reflect on the points above, the congregation - not a pastor - is the church.

So please, do not form your pastor search team the moment your departing pastor steps over the threshold for the last time. Breathe deeply. Trust God. Open your hearts and minds to the opportunities. You will be so glad that you did.

If your pastor search team needs assistance with making the most of the transition, contact me about search team coaching or check out this self-paced e-course.

Photo by Nareeta Martin on Unsplash.

Pastor search teams are made up of capable people who know their church well and are invested in its future. That said, there is a steep learning curve for most search team members. They have never been involved in the search for a clergyperson. They might or might not have received training and guidance from their judicatory. They do not have the full picture of what a minister’s day-to-day schedule looks like. They have little to no human resources experience, and the experience they have may not serve a calling (vs. a hiring) culture well.

Pastoral candidates, then, have the opportunity and responsibility to provide guidance to search teams in the ways that they show up in interactions. This teaching falls into two buckets.

Assisting with process

• Search teams might not always know the order or range of tasks or the people that should or should not be involved in aspects of the search process. They might want to rush ahead before it’s advisable, be quick to express their desire for you to be the new pastor without getting consensus within the team or considering that you might be the “first” of a particular demographic (thus meriting more conversation with you and with the congregation), or make compensation promises before consulting the finance or personnel committees. You can help the search team slow its roll and think more carefully about the pieces of a healthy process and the purposes behind them. For example, you could ask about what exposure the church has had to a woman in the pulpit and the resulting reactions or who all might need to be involved in certain decisions for the search team to feel confident about them.

• Search teams are often laser-focused on their goal of calling a pastor, and they might not have taken the time to consider the opportunities and big picture questions that a pastoral transition prompts. Your queries might stump the search team, and you could wonder aloud what it would take for the search team to formulate the answers.

• Search teams sometimes neglect to ground the search process spiritually. The search process is long, the congregation is anxious, and the responsibility is heavy, so the team wants to cull as much “soft” work as possible. (I contend that spiritual grounding is not in any way soft or extra but the heart of the matter.) You could offer to pray for the search team and its discernment at the end of an interview, if no one else indicates a desire to close in prayer. You could also ask how their involvement in the search process has impacted their discipleship.

• Clarity and thorough communication (among the team, with the congregation, with the candidates, and with the judicatory) are often the biggest challenges for search teams. You can encourage both through questions such as, “What is the tentative timeline for your process moving forward?” “How are you bringing the congregation along as you do the good work of the search?” “Whom should I contact and by what means if I have questions about the search process?”

• Once a search team and church as a whole become excited about your arrival, they will want you in the church office tomorrow. You can lead by sharing the importance of saying goodbye to your current context well and having a bit of space between calls - that you want to show up in your new congregation on day one having done the emotional work and the rest that will allow you to focus fully on this new season of ministry. And, of course, you’re certain the calling church will want to celebrate well the good work of the interim minister. All of this intentionality honors important relationships and models healthy ones.

Becoming the pastor

• Simply the way that you enter a space says something about how you will be as a pastor. This is not about charisma, though. It’s about attentiveness and engagement. Think about how you want to show up in your interviews and what would make that possible so that the search team can begin to imagine what it would look, sound, and feel like to have you as a pastor.

• Stating your needs and setting healthy boundaries begin during the search process. For example, you might need to help a search team design an in-person visit that leaves space for downtime, nursing, and/or exploring the community on your own: “I am so excited to be with you and to see your church and your city! I want to be at my best when we are together. I will need transition time between events so that I can rest and process my experiences.”

• You will never be in a better position to share with your prospective new church what you require in terms of compensation. Be prepared to help the search team (and possibly other committees such as finance and personnel) think through the various pieces of pastoral compensation, particularly as they relate to your experience and the local cost of living. Urge them not to lump everything together (e.g., salary, insurance, retirement), because that obscures and often lowballs what your actual pay for the ministry being done is. You are teaching the value of the pastoral office, establishing your self-advocacy, and showing your attention to detail.

• Entering a new call is not like showing up to the first day of a secular job. You are assuming a position, yes, but also joining a faith community. You also might or might not be bringing family into that faith community with you. All of this merits more than a passing welcome on the church’s part. You might have to share explicitly with the search team and congregation what hospitality looks like to you. Is it helping with the move (or not)? Are there connections the church can help make regarding a spouse’s employment? What would help kids feel cared for? These invitational aspects come naturally to some congregations but not to others. It’s good and right for you to be clear about what you need so that you can engage deeply and meaningfully with your new congregation.

In short, remain curious and open and ask for what you need. This stance will get the pastor-parish relationship off to a solid start, paving the way for your mutual ministry. But beyond that, it will seed a way of thinking in the congregation that can bear fruit in future processes, pastor search and otherwise.

Photo by Paul Green on Unsplash.

I grew up Southern Baptist. I didn’t know there were other kinds of Baptists until I went to college, much less that there were lots of Christian denominations other than the United Methodist Church, which was my dad’s upbringing.

Seminary was like a denominational playground where a church nerd like me could excitedly sample several expressions of faith. (Oooh, this church has a book full of beautiful prayers and rituals! That one really delves into Advent and Lent!) Even so, when I graduated, I was still a (no longer Southern) Baptist. I am still one to this day because of the central tenets of Bible, soul, church, and religious freedom.

And yet, I have worked mostly outside of Baptist contexts. I have held staff positions in PC(USA), United Methodist, and the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), in which I have ministerial standing. This ecumenism is due in equal parts to being the trailing spouse of a United Methodist minister in a state where my kinds of Baptists are hard to find and to building relationships with pastors of many denominations through Young Clergy Women International. I have both had to be and had the delightful opportunity to be broad in focus.

When I began coaching, then, I had a pretty big pool of ministers and churches to work with. That has translated into ongoing work with clergy and/or congregations of at least 17 faith groups:

• Alliance of Baptists

• American Baptist Churches (USA)

• Anglican (Canada)

• Assemblies of God

• Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)

• Church of the Brethren

• Cooperative Baptist Fellowship

• Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

• Mennonite Church (USA)

• Methodist Church in the United Kingdom

• Moravian Church in America

• Presbyterian Church (USA)

• The Episcopal Church

• Unitarian Universalist (congregation affiliated also with a Christian denomination)

• United Church of Canada

• United Church of Christ

• United Methodist Church

The list above does not include one-off coaching that I have done as part of group mentor coaching cohorts.

This variety makes my Enneagram 5 heart so very happy. I learn from every minister and church I coach. The benefits aren’t only my own; I take insights from one denomination and congregation into others I work with.

I’m a long way from the understanding of Christianity’s scope that I had as a young person. I can’t wait to be invited into more new-to-me spaces.

Photo by Lama Roscu on Unsplash.

[Note: This article was originally published in the July 2021 issue of Christian Coaching Magazine. It is republished here by permission.]

Confessions of a clergyperson: I love the church. I love ministry. I love working with lay leaders. And - I have banged my head on tables so many times during pastor searches that I have a permanent bruise on my forehead.

This action born of frustration and the resulting injury might be metaphorical, but they are also very real. I have either participated in or resourced a number of pastor searches as a search team member, candidate for the position, coach (to the search team or the candidate), and interim pastor, and the common thread through all of them is the anxiety pulsing through the searching church and its representatives.

Rarely are people at their best – their most faithful – when anxious. In the case of pastor searches, panicky churches ask questions that don’t give them the most helpful information or that are off-putting to candidates. They act on personal preferences rather than tuning into subtle nudges from God. They make decisions that are hasty or based on the wrong criteria. They fail to see their candidates as people who are also discerning a big decision and making life changes that are about family and faith community and calling as well as a paycheck.

Add to that the reality that very few pastor search team members have experience hiring an employee (much less calling a pastor, which has some significant differences from your standard human resources procedures), and there are any number of points at which the search process can go off the rails.

These are expensive mistakes, and not just in financial terms. Churches that have to search again shortly because of a poor fit are left spinning their wheels instead of sharing the love of Christ and making big impacts in their communities. Discouragement and distrust in processes set in. Power vacuums are created and filled, often by those who shouldn’t. Pastor carcasses begin to pile up outside the sanctuary door.

Even so, I believe that church members are best situated to find their next leader. They know their congregation, its history and culture. They are deeply invested in its future. They want to do this good, hard search work well. And they absolutely can – with the right resources.

About five years ago I applied for a grant from the Louisville Institute so that I could devote significant time to putting together some kind of toolkit for pastor search teams. I wanted to help them navigate their anxiety so they could harness the opportunity that comes with a leadership transition, that time when a church is most free to assess its direction and needs because it is unattached to a pastor’s personality and vision.

A how-to guide wouldn’t cut it, because each congregation is different. And, as any coach knows, simply telling people what to do cheats them of owning the work and its rewards. What emerged from my eighteen months of research and development, then, was a framework for coaching pastor search teams, a set of handholds by which pastor search teams could feel their way toward calling a great-fit leader.

Searching for the Called is divided into five major stages, with substages in each:

• Pre-search

• Developing the search team

• Designing process and core documents

• Engaging with candidates

• Covenanting with the new pastor

Within every substage search teams can find:

The goal of that stage. This is the big-picture view of what a pastor search team is trying to accomplish and how that work fits into the longer arc of the search as a whole. This framing helps a search team understand why it’s important not to skip ahead in the process. The primary coaching questions here are, “What will the impact be if you complete this stage well? What might happen on down the line if you don’t take the time you need?”

An outline of essential tasks. These to-dos are the foci of each substage. Without checking off each, a search team knows it is not ready to move on to other tasks. Here I ask, “How will completing these to-dos help you meet the goal of this stage of the search?”  

Key questions. These reflection prompts contain coaching questions and allow pastor search teams to customize the goals and tasks of the substage to their particular contexts.

Best practices. Giving search teams a picture of what it looks like to complete the essential tasks well allows me to ask, “What would it look like for your church, with its gifts and challenges, to embody this best practice?”

Tools for carrying out the essential tasks. Here I have developed some resources that pastor search teams to use on their own to do such things as facilitate congregational discussion, ask great interview questions, and put together a fair compensation package. Coaching questions around these tools could include, “How might you use these resources in a helpful way? What do you need that you don’t find in this toolkit, and where might you locate it?”

Candidate perspective. This aspect of the framework is critical. We all have a limited ability to walk in another person’s shoes, but a search team’s willingness to try to understand what their candidates are experiencing allows them to carry out their search process in the most compassionate way possible. Here I ask, “If your candidates are feeling this way, what does that mean for the way you interact with them?”

An assessment so that the search team knows whether it’s ready to move to the next stage. This checklist provides a bookend to the goal and essential tasks of each substage: Here’s what we were trying to do. Did we do it? If not, I can ask, “What’s left hanging before you can move forward? What will it take to complete it?”

Deep dive resources for those who want to know more. Sometimes there is a member of a pastor search team who gets very energized by an aspect of the search process, so I offer books and articles by which that person can learn more.

The word that kept bubbling up for me as I read books and interviewed ministers, judicatory leaders, and search team members in building this framework was “hospitality.” I felt a clear imperative to create a process and coaching around it that warmly welcomes the voices of pastor search team members, the congregation as a whole, the larger community, candidates, and the Holy Spirit. As a result, every aspect of Searching for the Called is geared toward developing relationships, with the hope that pastor search teams will both bless and be blessed by their work.

What I like about using this framework in coaching is that it gives pastor search teams confidence – the counter to anxiety – that they can carry out the important job their churches have commissioned them for as they tailor the process to the specific needs of their congregations. Many search teams emerge from this framework coaching experience not only having called a great-fit pastor but also having developed deeper trust with one another; greater understanding of themselves, their churches, and the ingredients to a healthy process; and a renewed sense of God’s work in, around, and through them. (With regards to this last benefit, the most meaningful feedback I’ve gotten on coaching around Searching for the Called is that it “feels like church.”) The effects can ripple out even beyond single congregations, as candidates who are released from hospitality-rooted search processes feel valued and affirmed in their ministries in ways that positively impact the churches they end up serving.

When individual or team coaching clients are embroiled in change, a service we can provide is not just our coaching skill but also clarity about how they can get where they want (and avoid where they don’t want)to go. A framework like Searching for the Called can do just this, letting prospective search team coachees know that I as coach have an understanding of what they’re trying to do and what they need in order to do it. This builds their trust in our work together even before our first conversation, making it more likely that clients will take a courageous leap toward a hope-filled new normal and saving us all from indenting hard surfaces with the shapes of our skulls.

Schedule a free discovery call here if you’d like to talk about pastor search team coaching. (If there are no available times that work for your search team, email me to coordinate a day and time.) Alternatively, your search team can enroll in the Searching for the Called online course for guidance with your search.

For ministers in the search & call process, there are times when you look at a prospective church’s profile or job description and think, “Can this search team see inside my brain?” The responsibilities align with your gifts, the congregation professes values similar to yours, and the salary range is exactly what you’re looking for. When the search team representative contacts you to set up an interview, it’s the start of an exciting possibility.

You will likely not feel so clear or enthusiastic about every initial interaction with a search team. This is normal! If it’s obvious that this is not the role or place for you, graciously withdraw from consideration. After all, your focus is better spent elsewhere, and search teams are made up of volunteers who are giving a lot of time and energy to looking for a leader. If, on the other hand, you are intrigued by what you read or hear but have a lot of questions, or if the position or context sounds great but seems like a stretch for your experience, don’t prematurely end the conversation. The Holy Spirit might be up to something.

That something might not turn out to be a great fit. But a search is about more than a minister finding a job and a congregation finding its next pastor. When you talk with search teams, you are changed - hopefully most often in positive ways. You meet new people who might end up playing a surprising role in your journey. You receive feedback that helps you grow. You practice showing up as a pastor in interviews.

Search teams are shaped as well by their interactions with you. It could be that you nudge the search team to make its process more hospitable, both for yourself and for others. Perhaps you ask a question that pushes the search team to face a reality or that challenges them to think bigger or that sends them back to the congregation for more discussion about identity or direction. Maybe your very presence, particularly as a “first” of some sort, cracks the door wider for someone else to serve this church on down the line. You might never know the results of your interactions with congregations that don’t immediately jump out as your dream scenario. This willingness to engage, though, is part of what it means not just to be surrounded by a cloud of witnesses but to be part of that community of the faithful across time.

So yes, absolutely look for that best fit and negotiate for what you are worth. And, along the way, remember that you are in ministry to churches through the way that you search, not just in the position to which you are ultimately called.

Photo by Ana Municio on Unsplash.

Back in the fall I predicted that a tidal wave of pastoral departures awaited near the end of the pandemic. I stand by that assertion, particularly now that:

1. This might be the hardest stretch of the Covid-19 crisis for clergy.

2. It is becoming more possible for searching churches to host on-site visits for pastoral candidates, meaning search activity is picking up.

3. Ministers are starting to accompany their congregations beyond the most restrictive distancing practices, a milepost many had set for themselves before searching for a new call.

4. Clergy could potentially have in-person closure with the churches they are departing, which is important to many.

If you are a pastor who is searching or whose search is imminent, please do not settle. There will be - and already is, in many denominations - so much turnover. Instead,

• Cast a wide net. After a year of staying at home and doing things differently, you probably have developed some new self-awareness. It could be about the shape of your ministry, the kind of place you want to live, your values, or your gifts. Permit yourself to take all of these factors into account as you search.

• Apply for positions that seem like stretches to you. The worst a search team can do is say no, which feels terrible but also broadens your network and provides you with more information for discernment. And what might have been a reach for you in a tighter job market might not be now, particularly since you have lots of examples of how you lead well even in crisis.

• Name your non-negotiables and stick to them. This might be about compensation or days off, but it might not. Maybe you’ve developed a new ministry passion or skill this past year that you want to have space to continue building on. Maybe you want to push for more meetings via Zoom than in person for reasons that are helpful to you or others.

• Take your time. Haven’t found the right fit yet? More and more positions are opening up all the time.

• Ask for what you need and for what you’re worth. Yes, it’s important to pay attention to how Covid-19 has impacted a church’s finances and raised questions about long-term sustainability. But with so many congregations searching, now is not the time to undervalue your worth.

• Ensure everyone is on the same page regarding expectations. The church is (or at least needs to be) different post-pandemic. Find out what identity, mission, and leadership pieces the congregation you’re considering has and hasn’t already worked through. Talk with the search team about what covenanting with and educating the congregation about the shape of your role could look like.

In short, take heart and be bold. May your search be a process of embracing who God has made you to be and discovering where you can flourish.

Photo by Cherry Laithang on Unsplash.

I had a short tenure in my first call. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the church. It was full of people who believed like I did, a relative rarity in the southeastern US. I heard exceptional preaching every week from the senior pastor, and I got my own opportunities in the pulpit. And, my office was located on a college campus, which meant I was a short walk away from all the books in the university library. Drool.

But my now-spouse lived a 10-hour drive away. As a United Methodist provisional pastor, he could not leave Alabama without setting back his ordination process. When we got serious about our future together, I was the already-ordained and thus more mobile pastor. I was ok with moving. For one thing, I was awfully naive about my professional prospects in what would be my new home. For another, the church I was departing, as wonderful as it was, had some challenges. I had followed a long-time, much-loved associate pastor who, a couple of years after her departure, was still present in many ways. She had also led the church through a significant change for which there was little lead-up process, leaving church members’ trust in one another, in the university, and in the pastoral staff iffy. While her actions were not in any way intended to cause conflict, they resulted in a number of difficult circumstances. When the senior pastor took his long-delayed sabbatical a few months into my tenure, I ministered solo through a messy situation for three months. By the time he returned, I was wrung out.

The chair of deacons (in this context, he was the key lay leader) was the first layperson I told about my imminent move. He said, “You’ve been a great unintentional interim for us.” That was a gut punch. I hadn’t taken this call to be a short-timer, and this statement dredged up some serious shame. With time, though, I saw his comment differently. I had provided much-needed consistency and clarity during an anxious time. This was a gift I was uniquely suited to give as someone who had barely put both feet in before taking one, then the other, out. This experience set me on a ministry trajectory toward intentional interim ministry and coaching, both of which fit me and my circumstances as an itinerant clergy spouse well. Today, I treasure that deacon chair’s observation and the work it began in me.

Many ministers have found - or will find - themselves in that unintentional interim role. You came into your call with great hope for a long, fruitful tenure. When you arrived, though, you found a church that either had not done the hard work of self-reflection during the pastoral transition, or that had so many issues to address that they couldn’t all be covered in one stretch, or that developed deep fissures over, say, pandemic response. You have realized that your remaining time at your church will be shorter and more intense than planned. You probably have Feelings about that. Whatever they are, they are valid.

Know, though, that just because you are an unintentional interim, that doesn’t mean your leadership isn’t incredibly valuable. You are steadying the ship during a very fraught time. You are allowing problems to surface so they can be named and dealt with. You are loving your people. You are paving the way for your successor to succeed. All of this is the Lord’s work, and you will leave your congregation better than you found it.

So I see you, unintentional interims. You are my people. I am cheering you on, and I’m praying for you.

Photo by Juliana Romão on Unsplash.

[Note: interim pastors, settled pastors planning to transition out, and judicatory leaders, please share this post with your churches.]

You’ve been selected to serve on your church’s search team for a new pastor. This is an exciting task! You will be part of a process that will deeply impact your congregation’s ministry for years to come. Pastor searches are daunting for that very same reason, along with the time commitment required to do the search work well. If you are feeling a swirl of emotions about being named to the pastor search team, that is completely normal.

After your initial reactions, your next concerns might be about how to carry out the work of the search. Most members of pastor search teams have never served in this capacity before and have no background in hiring (or in the case of a pastor, calling). You might not even be totally sure what a clergyperson’s day-to-day schedule looks like.

That’s ok. A congregation’s laypeople are still in the best position to call a great-fit pastoral candidate, because you know your church better than anyone. You just need the search framework and tools to carry out your task faithfully.

In the new online course version of Searching for the Called, you will find what you need to set up your search process and ground it in God, tamp down your own (and the congregation’s) anxiety, engage well with pastoral candidates, discern which candidate with which you can envision fruitful ministry, and help your new minister get off to a fast start. The course breaks the pastor search into bite-sized chunks to eliminate overwhelm and utilizes videos, tools, and assessments to move you along the search timeline. There are also sections dedicated to helping your search team think through common questions that pop up during pastor searches, including anytime questions as well as pandemic-specific issues.

You can purchase two years of unlimited access for your entire search team for $250. (For reading this blog post, I’m happy to offer your team 10% off! Enter the code BLOG10OFF at checkout.) Simply have one member of your search team enroll in the course, and then I will contact the enrollee with login information for fellow search team members. You will also have the capability to contact me through the course with brief questions about your search.

The pastor search can be formational for your search team members, church, and pastoral candidates. Let Searching for the Called assist you in claiming that opportunity.

Judicatory and denominational leaders, I invite you to use my contact form to email me for a free preview version that will allow you to see all course content so that you can recommend it to your churches with confidence.

We’re in a time when many pastoral departures are imminent. Some clergy were on the brink of retiring or searching for a new call when the pandemic began. Not wanting to leave their churches in the lurch, they decided to hang on for a while longer, not realizing the pandemic would go on for nearly a year now. Others were already actively looking for a new place to serve and hit pause on their searches for the same reason. Then there are those ministers who were happily serving when the pandemic hit. Maybe conflict started or deepened in their churches over the challenges of the past months. Maybe they don’t want to pastor in the ways that the pandemic has required, some of which will carry forward afterward. Or perhaps they simply - understandably - want to protect their own health and that of their loved ones.

In short, many churches are looking down the barrel at a time of leadership transition.

If your settled pastor is thinking about leaving or has just departed, here are ten questions to guide your congregation into the early stages of the between-time:

• How do you bring healthy closure to your departing pastor's tenure?

• What are the primary pastoral tasks that need to be picked up by others?

• What are the opportunities and challenges presented by the time between settled pastors?

• What does your church need to figure out about its identity, direction, and pastoral needs before starting a pastor search?

• Keeping responses to all of the above in mind, what kind of leadership does your church need in the transition time?

• How might your church approach the search as a means of spiritual formation?

• What are the qualities needed in pastor search team members?

• How can your pastor search team members deepen their relationships with one another and their mutual trust with the church as a whole?

• What resources does your pastor search team need to conduct its process well?

• How can your church come alongside the pastor search team in its work?

If your church or pastor search team needs more resources, check out Searching for the Called. You can download the manual here, and an online course is coming next week.

Photo by KT on Unsplash.

A significant slice of my coaching involves working with clergy in search and call. Some of these coachees are just beginning to think about exploring other possibilities while others have already begun interviewing. Almost all of them experience anxiety, though, when it comes to the compensation negotiation part of the process. Is what I’ve been offered fair based on my experience and skills, the responsibilities of the position, the church’s budget, and the cost of living in the area? What changes is it appropriate to ask for in a counter-offer? How do I go about making these requests?

It’s hard for candidates to answer these questions in a vacuum. That’s why I am adding a new service: a one-off, one-hour coaching session that provides candidates with:

• a larger context for what fair compensation looks like based on my work with clergy and congregations,

• questions to help the candidate name the aspects and amounts of compensation that they deserve and that churches can sustainably offer, and

• coaching and encouragement around the negotiation process.

Candidates should be prepared to bring into the call information they have available about the church with which they are negotiating, such as budget/financial trends, previous pastor’s compensation, the availability of church-owned housing, and church or judicatory policies around various kinds of leave, salary recommendations/requirements, and other benefits.

Working toward fair compensation offers a candidate the opportunity to begin showing up as a pastoral leader during the end of the search process and allows the newly-called pastor to square away practical concerns, thus enabling her to turn her focus more fully to the work ahead. And in the longer view, pastors who are paid what they are worth are more likely to feel valued and as a result stick around longer, leading to fruitful mutual ministry.

If you are interested in this service, you can find the current rate here (see “base rate per session” at the top of the page) and schedule your coaching session here.