When we onboard members to a committee or team or launch a new program – as many of us will do in January – often the tendency is to capitalize on initial enthusiasm to get as much done as quickly as possible. That’s totally understandable. After all, novelty begets energy, and we don’t want to waste it. But if we haven’t taken the time to build our team and outline our processes, even a small bump can drain that momentum and derail our collective work.

That’s why it’s important – even though it’s counter-intuitive – to start slowly. Develop relationships among the key players. Learn where each person is coming from, what their reasons were for signing up, what skills and experience and ideas they bring, what they need from others in order to make their best contributions, and how they deal (or don’t) with conflict. When those involved have this kind of context for their collaborators, they will be able to engage one another more quickly and effectively when difficulties arise.

In addition to interpersonal processes, agreeing on procedures at the outset can make work go faster. What is the future story we’re striving for? How does everyone plan to participate in the work? What is our timeline? How will we come to agreement on major decisions? How will we ground our work in God? How will we hold one another accountable? What will we do if we come to an impasse? Intentionality at the front end can ease – if not prevent – many stresses that pop up as humans, with our anxieties and agendas, cooperate.

Note that slow movement at the start might prompt questions such as “why are we wasting time on this ‘soft’ work?” Be prepared to explain how deliberateness serves both the overall goal and the speed of the work that is to come.

In what situations do you need to pump the brakes in order to do some of this foundational work? Though it might seem tedious at times, your relationships and your efforts will greatly benefit.

Your time and money are very valuable. When you come to a coaching call, I want you to get the most out of both! It’s up to me to prepare to coach you, and here are some things you can do on your end to make best use of our hour together:

Before our coaching calls begin:

Take advantage of the free introductory call. This is not a coaching call (though I might ask a few coaching questions to give you a feel for my approach), but it is a time for us to get to know each other, talk about the process, and build trust. I will ask about your overall goals for coaching and about your personality so that I can tailor my questions accordingly.

Utilize assessments. If you haven’t really thought through how you learn best, consider making use of a free assessment such as Mindframes. (It’s easy to complete in less than 10 minutes.) If you’ve never taken a test like the Myers-Briggs or employed a framework like the Enneagram, look them up online. We’ll be able to focus on action steps more quickly when we both understand where you’re coming from.

Before each call:

Follow through on actions designed on the last call. Once you have put your plans into place, we can tweak them to make them even more effective.

Minimize distractions. Close out tabs on your computer. (Or better yet, turn it off completely if we’re talking by phone.) Set your phone to silent. Put a note on your door that you’re not to be interrupted. This is your time. You’ve earned it.

Give yourself time to settle in. Make sure you give yourself a buffer before you coaching call. Take a deep breath. Refresh your coffee. Find a comfortable place to sit. Load up Zoom a few minutes early in case it needs to update. If you come into the session on two wheels, you’ll spend precious time at the beginning of the call focusing yourself.

Think through what you want to talk about. Consider challenges and opportunities you’re facing. Identify your desired outcomes for the coaching call. (This prep sheet can help.)

During the call:

Lean on your learning style to stay focused. It’s hard for anyone to stay fully engaged during an hour-long conversation. If you’re a visual person, find a focal point in the room or draw whatever our conversation brings to mind. If you learn by writing, take notes. If you’re a mover, stretch occasionally.

Ask me to rephrase. If a question doesn’t click with you, tell me to ask it a different way. Sometimes a new angle on the same question shakes loose some ideas.

Be willing to try new things. I might suggest we imagine or experiment. This might be a bit out of your comfort zone, but stretching provides the groundwork for positive change.

Tell me what worked and what didn’t. Especially if you are a new client, I will ask you at the end of the call what I should do more or less of during our next session. Even if I don’t ask, I am always open to feedback. I want to do whatever will best help you meet your goals.

After the call:

Reflect on your takeaways. Think about new awareness you gained or action plans you put together. (This reflection form can help.)

Act right away. To move your learning into long-term memory, you must act on it quickly. Take at least one small step within 72 hours. With every effort you will move closer to the results you’re looking for – or at least to awareness that will make change possible.

Build in accountability. Ask a friend or colleague to ask you how your action steps are progressing.

When coach and coachee both bring their best to a session, amazing things can happen.

Have you ever started a day or week with a short to-do list, only to find that you are soon swallowed up by requests and minutiae?

Time abhors a vacuum.

So, what’s a minister to do when so much of her work is about being available to others and taking care of those details that no one else knows about but that make the ministry run smoothly?

Make the calendar your friend. Schedule blocks for sermon prep, curriculum writing, big picture planning, visitation, open office hours, and even self-care (afternoon Dunkin Donuts run, anyone?) just like you do for committee meetings. And just like with committee meetings, you can push your plans aside if a truly pressing pastoral need arises. Otherwise, feel free to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t do such-and-such right now. I have an appointment.” Because you do.

If we don’t block out time for visioning and self-care, those two things are almost always first on the to-do list chopping block. Yet those are perhaps the two most critical pieces of longevity in ministry.

Happy calendaring!

One of the most crucial jobs of a pastor is setting the tone for the ministry he/she will do alongside the congregation: how will we work together toward God’s vision for this church? Two aspects of this task are preparation and self-management.

A minister can prepare perfectly, but if she/he fails to manage her/his own anxiety, things can go off the rails quickly. Conversations take a negative turn, committees get mired in minutiae, and processes get abandoned. Here are a few thoughts, then, on self-management:

Wring out your anxiety sponge on a regular basis. Make the calendar your friend by scheduling self-care appointments (for example, coffee with a friend or a massage). Celebrate affirmations and progress, however small. Find joy or humor somewhere…anywhere.

Humanize the “other.” If you are running up against a particularly prickly personality or faction, pray for him/her/them. Say to that person’s directory photo, “you are a child of God.” (Cheesy? Yes. But a helpful exercise – sort of the reverse of putting someone’s face on a dartboard.) Engage difficult people rather than avoiding them, seeking to understand them and channel their passions productively.

Create and lean on a network of partners. We all need commiseration partners, those folks who affirm that we are not crazy or wrong. Commiseration partners could be colleagues who receive venting and respond in a professional way as well as good friends and family members who only half-jokingly offer to punch that nemesis in the throat on your behalf. But there are also:

• Prayer partners – those who pray with and for us.

• Common goal partners within the congregation – laypeople who are allies in the ministry at hand.

• Staff, deacons, or other lay leaders who can be trusted implicitly – voices that can assess the situation from the inside and help with informed decisions.

• Reality check partners – anyone willing to say “I hear you, now what will you do about it?”

• Professional support – therapist, spiritual director, coach, etc.

Ministers who engage in solid preparation and good self-management model those practices for others, paving the way for mutual trust and respect and progress toward God’s mission fulfilled.

One of the most crucial jobs of a pastor is setting the tone for the ministry he/she will do alongside the congregation: how will we work together toward God’s vision for this church? Two aspects of this task are preparation and self-management.

A minister’s preparation eliminates as many unpleasant surprises and as much negativity as possible on the front end of conversations, committee meetings, and processes, while still leaving room for the Holy Spirit to work. This groundwork includes:

Doing your homework. What details do you need going in? Where can you find them?

Getting the right people in the room. Who should be involved so that key people know what is happening, there is buy-in, and tasks can be claimed by the people who have the skills and passion to carry them out?

Making the physical space work for you. How can the room be better arranged to help you accomplish your objectives? What visual or auditory cues will be conducive to your aims?

Having a sense of your trajectory. What process will you follow? What’s the timeline? How will you stay on track when a distraction or tangent pops up?

Following through. What steps will you take to assist people in honoring their commitments? How will you ask your church members to hold you accountable?

Above all, preparation involves communication with God – speaking and listening – through whatever spiritual discipline best suits your personality, learning style, and faith history. You are working on God’s behalf. Let God empower and guide you.

Recently I was directing my youth in a run-through of their Youth Sunday worship service. This was a full rehearsal so that we could work out the rubics, troubleshoot AV issues, and make sure every aspect of the service pointed back to the youth-chosen theme. Several times I was asked – since there were all-important lock-in games like Sardines and Mafia to get to – “Do I have to read my whole part? I know what I’m supposed to do.” And each time I replied, “Practice like you play.” (I guess that old desire to coach basketball still lurks in the back of my brain.)

There are some worship leaders who think that writing out liturgy and sermon manuscripts (if that suits your preaching style) and rehearsing worship prevents the Holy Spirit from moving in the moment. But I believe that good preparation is a sign that a worship leader takes seriously his/her responsibility to God and to the gathered body. It’s a mark of hospitality when a worship leader ensures important details are highlighted and good transitions are made, because otherwise visitors won’t know what to expect. Preparation and rehearsal also create muscle memory in a worship leader so that if he/she is having an off day, the advance work can fill in some gaps.

But perhaps most importantly – and ironically – practicing creates more space for the Holy Spirit to operate. The Spirit isn’t limited to influencing the worship hour but instead can guide all the planning, study, writing, rehearsing, physical space arranging, and recruiting of liturgists, musicians, and greeters.

Practice like you play…and invite the Holy Spirit to redirect you in the moment and to translate all that happens into the message(s) the people in the pews need to hear.