Interrupted cycles of firsts

Back in the olden days (read: before mid-March 2020), every pastor new to a church would experience a twelve-month cycle of firsts. There would be your first [insert liturgical season here], your first [insert signature congregational event here], your first conflict, your first death of a church pillar. Through all of these events, the clergyperson and congregation would get to know each other’s gifts and passions and quirks much better, and hopefully this deeper knowing would solidify the pastor-parish relationship going forward.

Well, if you’re a minister who started a new call later than April 2019, you had a pandemic dropped into your initial twelve months, meaning you might not have experienced (or maybe even learned about) that obscure but much-loved Easter tradition or the unexpected level of activity in the summer months. Your cycle is incomplete. So what does this mean?

If we’re able to re-gather physically when that first comes around next year, you’ll have a learning curve. Remind people that you haven’t experienced it. Otherwise, they might expect you to know all about it, leading to hurt feelings.

You might feel really excited to participate in that first you missed - or you might not. That event could represent a return to something resembling “normal.” On the other hand, your level of commitment to it could be low.

You’ll get to probe the importance of that event you missed. You’ll have the blissful lack of awareness to ask any question you want, and you’ll have built more trust so that you can probe deeper.

Be gentle with yourself when you don’t feel too attached to what you missed, and allow yourself to grieve what you anticipated at your new call but didn’t get to enjoy. Pandemic-flavored ministry is hard for everyone, but in some ways it is hardest for those pastors who changed congregations just before or even during the outbreak.

Photo by Photos by Lanty on Unsplash.