I hit the wall a couple of weeks ago

Two weeks ago, I started having trouble getting out of bed. Once I did, I felt foggy and sluggish all day. My usual discipline and drive felt blunted. Whenever I had an unscheduled hour, I’d curl up in the guest bed, hoping to regain some of my strength.

What is going on here? I wondered. I didn’t have the usual symptoms of physical illness, like fever or chills or congestion. I was sleeping terribly, but that was nothing new. There hadn’t been any significant changes in my circumstances, and any minor alterations were for the better, like warmer weather and my first Covid shot.

Then it clicked. It was the one-year anniversary of lockdown. 12 months of pivoting in parenting and working. 52 weeks of not going much of anywhere. 365 days with no time to myself. 525,600 minutes of worry about the state of the world and the physical, mental, and spiritual health of the ones I love. Of course I felt like I’d run full-tilt into a cinder block wall.

Once I realized what was happening, I started making changes immediately. I’d gotten lax about my internet use, checking email and Facebook before I got out of bed in the morning up until I went to bed at night, and it was ramping up my anxiety. I began enforcing a boundary of no internet until after I got ready and none after dinner. I also purposefully left my phone in a different room at points between those start and end times so that I would be less tempted to look at it.

I paid more attention to what I was eating. As someone who had gestational diabetes, I am at risk for developing the non-pregnancy kind, and I’ve been sensitive for years to big fluctuations in my blood sugar. I made sure I was getting more protein into my diet, particularly at breakfast and snack times, so that my blood sugar wouldn’t bottom out.

And - arguably most importantly - I acknowledged what was happening in my body and mind and what my limits were. This was (and is) a time to be gentle with myself, not to bulldoze ahead as I typically do.

When so much is out of my control, these were three steps I could take that were in my purview. I am still weary. After all, Covid hasn't gone anywhere. But these changes have helped a lot, and I hope that they have laid the groundwork for ongoing adjustments as the ebb and flow of the virus impact continues. If you have hit the wall, what are some tweaks you can make to clear out the concussive fog?

Photo by Pete Willis on Unsplash.