A word of encouragement for ministers who struggle with pastoral care

“I dread pastoral care.”

This is the secret shame of a lot of ministers, especially introverts. For those of us whose energy is depleted at the very thought of making a phone call or scheduling a visit, looking at a list of names can automatically prompt us to curl into a ball or pull our hoodies down over our eyes. If you can relate, here’s what I’d like to say to you:

Not loving pastoral care is not the same as not loving people. I trust the beauty and tenderness of your heart and believe that God would not have called you into pastoral ministry if you didn’t care deeply for those in your charge.

Everyone is gifted differently for ministry. In his book Flourishing in Ministry, Matt Bloom cites a study that identifies sixty-four different competencies pastors are called upon to perform. (Thanks to pandemic, that number has no doubt grown.) You will enjoy and be good at some of these tasks more than others.

There are many ways to show compassion and provide spiritual companionship. Phone calls and hour-long visits are not the only means. Sure, you probably need to be ready to spend time with people going through an acute crisis. At other times, though, you might want to send a handwritten note, which is a tangible, lasting sign that you are thinking of someone, or reach out by text, which might be greatly appreciated by those who don’t like talking on the phone or don’t have time for a lengthy conversation. Beyond individual contacts, you demonstrate pastoral care in the effort you put into tending to the business of the church, writing sermons, and planning ministries with your congregation and community in mind.

Caregiving ministry is not yours alone. Even in small churches it is good to cultivate the idea that spiritual accompaniment is the work of the community. You will not always be the pastor of your congregation, and members in it will need continuity of care through leadership transitions. Your ability to encourage and equip people for this good work ensures that follow-through.

For those visits you do need to make, get help with scheduling. Sometimes calendaring is the most daunting aspect of pastoral care. See if your administrative assistant or a layperson who has a good sense of the church and a love for the phone to set up appointments.

Above all, remember that you are not alone in finding this aspect of the work especially hard and that you are not a bad minister because you find pastoral care particularly challenging.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.